If Manchester City’s Yaya Toure worked in an office…

Yaya was livid. Despite having loads of annual leave left in the financial year, he’d deliberately not booked his birthday off. He’d hoped his colleagues and bosses would shower him with praise for his excellent work this past year and, of course, bring him a cake with tea in the afternoon. Maybe they’d drink prosecco from plastic cups and Pep, his line manager, would even say a few words to everyone near the photocopiers, like Manuel had done on Raheem’s 21st.

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